It's 3 days before my son's birthday and 4 before my husband's....I'm beyond broke, no food in the house and sober too...and trying to figure out what all getting tangled with others is going to entail. I like a little community style family type vibe...sharing what we all have instead of worrying about looking out for ones self instead of looking out for each other. C worries about her ex getting in the way...please, never that! It's me, my babe, C and Froggy and our kids firstly. Everyone else is secondary. Yeah we may be broke for now but it'll come back around, it always does!! I gave her the 3 comics from L to see what we can get for them, hopefully enough to tide us over til payday. Then the next few will be tight cuz we gotta save half and still pay bills and be able to take care of the household til next payday. Start M off with silent backing but only in as far as making sure our needs are met. I'm giving this my last effort and if i get screwed I'm done. No more tries, no more helping and no more family ties. The black has to stop though cuz it's not good to feel like i do when it's exactly what I'm trying to feel relaxed and worry free. School should start back up soon hopefully and I can start getting that money coming back in. I wish I could do more I hate being without anything I can use to get money of my own coming in. I want to contribute but not at the expense of all my material shit. Cat made sure all that was gone already so I'm pretty much stuck right now! Would've been nice if I'd have gotten rid of her before all that happened, live and learn hmm! Oh well, not the world I want to be part of anyways...too much drama!! Please let this not turn out like that or anytime before that really. I know people are just out for themselves but for once could it not end with my getting fucked over or hurt or hurt D either cuz he's undeserving of that shit when we're just trying to help. Guess we wait and see huh?!
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